I had a dream last night that I reunited with some friends from high school, including a guy that I had a huge crush on. I had such a crush on him that I was literally speechless whenever he was around, and I never once had a meaningful conversation with him. I have a dream every so often about him where we hang out now and he gets a chance to see I'm not a dork. It's not like I still wish I could be with him and I'm sure he's a total loser now anyway. I remember seeing his name in the paper a few years after high school for a DUI. But still it's always a really nice dream and I wake up feeling kind of wistful.
I think I need to act more like a grown up. For some reason I am afraid to be an adult, independent and standing on my own. I need bulimia for this reason. It lets me act like a child, immature and irresponsible. I think it's time to move forward.
Well my cramps are almost gone but I still feel very nauseous, especially because of how I've been sleeping (bad hours) and eating (everything in sight). I will try to do something meaningful today exercise-wise...
by the way C3 said he didn't know I was really sick. So I forgive him for not checking up on me I suppose...
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