I'm doing amazing

The past few weeks have been so incredibly hard. I committed myself to changing my life and working my ass off. I'm working two jobs and taking four classes. So I CANNOT stay up late because I cannot sleep late anymore if I can make it through.

I wasn't able to sleep though, no matter how much I tried. I was dragging myself around and could barely keep my eyes open in class. I took some notes in class that I will post on here about how awful I was feeling. Then I started getting restless leg syndrome really badly and it was driving me insane at night, making the insomnia worse, and it even started spreading to my upper arms during the day. It was the grossest feeling. I went to the doctor about it and he prescribed some Ambien and VOILA!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

I have been able to sleep when I want to and I wake up refreshed! So much so that I don't even need to drink tons of caffeine anymore. I feel like a normal person.

I will post more later... love to all

kicking my own ass

I'm doing well, how about that?

I'm very very tired of struggling through things. Like I wrote before, the easy outs are no longer working for me in any way. It is time I put my intelligence to good use to solve the problems I have created. Before, my intelligence was working against me, finding the paths through the easy outs.

I'm smart
I'm awesome
I'm beautiful on this inside
underneath all this crap I've done to myself, I'm beautiful on the outside too

I hope you are all well and using your intelligence to help you, not hurt you...