Stuck halfway up the mountain

Why do I think the Lap-Band will take all my problems away? I guess I am tired of being hungry all the time.

I really am hungry all the time. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because my stomach hurts so much from the hunger. That can't be normal. It's like the fatter I get, the more my body needs to eat to feed each fat cell. Fuck you fat cells.

My foot is better in the boot. It doesn't hurt at all no matter how much I walk. Without it I can't walk without limping. It's a stress fracture by the way and not a clean break like the urgent care doctor said. I guess I will start riding the bike again.

I am a bit tipsy. I had two alcoholic drinks tonight with friends. Drinking makes me sad. What is that they say, it is heartbreaking to love so someone you can't be with who is far from you, but even more heartbreaking to love someone right next to you that you can't be with? Well if they don't say that, they should say something like that because it's true.

nite nite

One step forward, two steps back

I've been doing well lately with eating, thanks to the Prozac. However I haven't been exercising over the past few weeks because my left foot has really been hurting... well guess what - it's fractured!!!!

I didn't do anything to it either except walk on it a lot. Actually my right foot starting hurting a lot, and so I was limping a lot onto my left foot, and then my left foot really starting hurting. It swelled up so I got it x-rayed and it's a clean fracture. So now I am limping again on my right foot and it's really hurting again too! Can you imagine if I have two broken feet?

And it's all because I'm so overweight. I'm sure of it. What else would cause it? It makes me so furious. I'm stuck at this weight. How am I supposed to exercise now?

I am almost crying writing this and I almost never cry, especially on the Prozac. This situation is just becoming hopeless. I need weight loss surgery and I know it would be successful, but my insurance refuses to pay for it and I don't have money either.

I don't know what to do.