well not really but it feels like that. I finally got my period and it hurts so bad. I won't be missing it once I start El Seasonale. And I got really sick on Sunday with some kind of stomach flu. I had to go to the urgent care and they gave me a shot that killed like a motherfucker. Usually shots don't hurt but this was a bitch! It is a terrible flu and the strange thing was that it made me throw up. It was strange because I haven't thrown up for real (ie, not self-induced) in like 10 years maybe. Oh my god, it was terrible! It hurt so bad and it was so scary and so disgusting! It was nothing like bulimic throwing up which is so much more controlled and "normal." Or maybe I'm just used to it. Anyway I wonder if non-bulimics think bulimics are crazy because they think we go through this terrible experience on purpose. Self-induced vomiting is not that attractive of course but it is NOTHING like this regular puking that you can't control.Well I am very sad. It has been three days since I got the flu and C3 has not called or stopped by to see how I am doing. I am glad in a way because it shows me he is not my dream man like I thought. These eye openers happen for a reason.
but I'm sad anyway. I wish I had real love.
2 comments:
I don't understand it either. I was sick a few weeks ago, and I was like - WTF. It was 1,000 times worse than when I purge. Anyway, I hope you're feeling better. :)
i know exactly what you mean here...i am petrified of throwing up "naturally." making yourself do it is a totally different ballgame.
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