I love getting messages from blog readers. You guys have the best perspective and understand so much more than the people I know in person... I really need to start an ED support group.
Why do I feel like such a loser because I can't "stop" eating? It is what goes through my head all day long: "how can I stop eating... why can't I stop eating... what if I could just stop eating... I need to stop eating." I ignore the voice and overeat to rebel, and the voice gets louder. Yet I don't listen to the voice... only let it berate me. I know it's stupid and impossible but I still do it.
Tonight I went for a walk. It wasn't very long, just about 25 minutes. It didn't lift me up but made me tired. I should try to go every night. I saw fireflies tonight :-)
1 comment:
Your mind is so saturated with food you have no time to see all the gifts you have right in front of you. This is the pure obsession we suffer from. How can we even begin to enjoy the little things when this comittee in our head is so loud, discussing food food food! I understand this thoght, and it makes us sick.
However, many have beat, or should I say are finding victory in the battle. There is hope. You need to discover this along the path you walk. You will find inner peace from this emptiness. Keep walking, as lame as it sounds, one foot in front of the other -- it works!
Fireflies, that is very free-ing.
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