but I want to binge. I want to go to 7-11 and buy up as many of their donuts as possible, even though they probably have been sitting out for nearly a day now.
But I'm not going to... at least not this one time. I made myself ask, how much will be enough? and there isn't an answer. Even every donut left at every 7-11 in a 10 mile radius won't be enough - I'd still be hungry (emotionally).
I'm cooking a Healthy Choice dinner instead because I think I am actually a bit hungry. It's about 250 calories.
I am so lonely and bored. Did I mention this lately?
4 comments:
Mandy, I've read most of your blog. Is blogging a sort of self-medicating thing for you? It is for me. Stepping outside the world of calories and weight and intake, outside of myself and into simply existing, and then looking at my options of action and choosing one. Hm - for someone who dislikes abstract and over-simplified suggestions, I'm good at doling them out. Apologies. At any rate, I wish I could remove the part of you that needs an e.d. and let the rest of you chill and write and be, but in the meantime, hang in there. Recovery is not linear! Peace.
hi mandy, i really appreciate your honesty. i find blogging very therapeutic because i can finally be honest and not feel so alone. life does not have to be this way. i know that after having almost 4 years of recovery. i know a life absent food obsessions and compulsions is possible. you will see.... you can do it.
Hi, Mandy--I came across your blog thru someone else's site. I want to commend you on going public with your struggle--it takes a lot of courage to do so and, hopefully, will be another way for you to recover. It seems that you have lots of emotions to contend with, and I'm guessing that blogging will help you express the emotions in a healthy way, along with providing access to support from others.
Hello...Is this blog still active? The most recent post I found was 2007.
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