I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop eating. I've been totally out of control with binging and purging... And I have to hide because I threw up so hard I broke a bunch of blood vessels around my eyes.
I feel like I'm going crazy. What is the reason for this? I think I need therapy. I really don't know why I'm doing this to myself when it's the last thing I want. I just can't stop...
3 comments:
Hang in there, sweetie! Some days are harder than others. I can relate. It hasn't been the best last couple of days for me, either. After close to 2 months purge-free, I've fallen back into it. Gah!
If you can afford therapy, do it! Or coaching. Any support you can get!
good thoughts your way,
love,
Emily
Seeking in truth to the habitual rituals you perform with food and your thought process can be scary -- but it can give way for freedom.
I have discovered relief from these demons in the rooms of OA and AA. There I discover people just like me and no longer do I have to give life to this ugly thing -- bulimia and my obsession with food.
I figured I would try it, if I did not find something of serenity I could easily go back to my obsession with food.
Thank you for posting so honestly. You are never alone. I know the powerlessness over food and what it is like to be non stop to its calling.
this is crazy...as i'm reading your back blog posts, i am stunned over and over again by the amount of similarities between our stories. i, too, have broken blood vessels around my eyes (i'm sure we're not the only ones). it's so embarrassing the next day (and sometimes for several days)...as for therapy: you can't underestimate its power. i know i have over a year to keep reading to catch up to where you are today, but i hope that you have found someone you can talk to.
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