I only slept 3 hours last night. I am really rebelling against myself. I'm too tired to explain what I mean right now though...
I've decided I absolutely can't have any sugar anymore. Even the slightest bit sets me off. I really am like a crack whore. I'm a snack whore. I was really out of control the past two days... but I think I snapped out of it.
I love apples. I tried to be extra healthy and buy some nice organic apples from the health food store but it turns out they weren't nearly as yummy as the Walmart apples which you know are totally genetically modified and farmed out of a petri dish by underage underpaid workers.
I love not having my period. Seasonale is the greatest thing ever. I've noticed my skin has been crappy lately, and I think it's the pills. I'm also so damn horny! I should go out and buy a vibrator but it would feel like I was totally giving up on ever finding a man. Actually really I don't have a spare $100 or whatever vibrators cost. Maybe I should stage a celebrity benefit to raise money. VibeAID 2006.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
4 comments:
I really like the Fuji apples you get at the local supermarket, bannanas are my favorite fruit.
We've got a bithday & cook-out this Saturday and I'm dreading it from an addicts standpoint.
(LOL) I wonder if anyone donates used dildos to the local thrift stores. (LOL)
Don't feel bad. you are strong. Nobody loves cake more than I! Here's why organic apples (etc) are better than regular. Free radicals contribute to the degradation of living things. However, antioxidants absorb these before they can do cellular damage. So an apple with any pesticidal help doesn't have to work as hard to survive. Conversely, organic apples must rely on their particular level of antioxidants (for protection) to grow and reproduce. Due to natural selection, the ones with optimal levels of antioxidants are likely to perpetuate and pass on offspring with comprable levels of antioxadants. The less "fit" apples will die and decrease in frequency. So regular apples don't need as many antioxidants to survive, while organic ones must rely on them. We benefit by ingesting the premium antioxidant levels in organic produce, which in turn, aids the cellular reactions and protection against ageing/degradation. Does this make sense or does everyone already know that?
One, actually two more things. I was reading about some guy you said was never emotionally open and his lack of affection drew you to food. I broke up with my bf of almost 2 years because of that. It hurts so much to want more and be so open and have to go elsewhere for satisfaction. I didn't know what life was without him or who I was, but the WORST pain I felt for a few days is gone and was a better option than the chronic pain I inflicted on myself bc he wasn't open, etc. But my therapist (just started a few weeks ago) made a good point that no matter how great a guy is, someone emotionally numb or closed, is not a good match for a girl so controlled by her feelings. Just a thought but I hope you don't get sucked into a codependent relationship like I did. It made the bulimia worse. On the vibratior issue, I got one of those bullet ones a few years ago and they're probably less than 30. I'd be scared of one of those huge phallic looking devices! Please post any thoughts you have on surviving Easter or other food holidays
I survived the cakes, almost. I had white on white, one chunk, reasonable. Then I had three slices of chocolate on chocolate. That was over a two day period. BUT, the Easter candy got me.
Scarlett
Post a Comment