My birthday is in a few days. 32 years old. Wow. I'm so old.
There is one good thing about getting older. I'm getting more mature. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I feel like doing the things I didn't do before.
I'm finally taking care of my bills and my credit and doing an actual budget. This is a huge step for me because it was one of the most irresponsible and immature parts of my life - always living like only today mattered.
I finally feel like I want to be a grownup. For so long I used to always wish I could be a kid again, I wished I could go back in time and "start over." But my life is really not so bad. In fact I have a lot to be grateful for.
I feel, more than I have in the past, that I am ready to move on from an eating disorder. It doesn't fit me anymore. The problem is that it is very ingrained in who I am in my habits. The last time I didn't have any kind of eating problem, I was abiout 7 years old.
I really feel calmer and less anxious about who I am. Happy Bithrday to me.
5 comments:
If I remember correctly, we have the same birthday (Sept. 4th, right?). Happy Birthdays to us!
Hi there, I totally relate to what you're saying about wanting to be grown up... I've always wanted to be older, and funny enough as I'm now almost 28 I finally feel I'm at the "perfect age" - perfect for what in particular, I don't know!
Sadly, the disease doesn't go away with age... I don't think there is such a thing as "growing out of it", at least not for me. I'm living free now, but that's not because the disease has gone away but because I'm in recovery. I believe I can have the disease back any day I want to pick up, whether I'm 30 or 60... NMW, Susanne
Hello there, and happy birthday from someone you've never met. I stumbled on your blog attempting to correlate a friend's condition of chronic neck pain (and some back and shoulder pain) to bulimia. Let me give you some background.
We met online, and we're just online friends. WE goof off a lot in chat, but she confides in me, we'll never meet in meatspace. I really do care about this young lady, she's smart and funny and the world needs more people like her.
Oh, and she's bulimic, and she purges like crazy.
I've told her how bad bulimia is on her body and that it is slowly killing her. She's smart enough to know that. I don't keep pressure on her about it, I know how psychological it is and how difficult it is to stop. I'm glad that you're managing it, and I hope that you always will.
Anyway, we were chatting last night, she has developed somewhat chronic muscle pain in her neck, and sometimes in her back and shoulders. According to her, she's been to every doctor around, and they find nothing wrong. I told her that I would look into it, since no one seems to help her.
My question to you (or your readers with bulimia) is this:
Has purging ever affected you in this manner? I've found some startling links between cases of purge bulimia and Barrett's Syndrome, as an example. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Also, in order not to make her feel like crap, I really don't want to keep pressuring her to stop purging, I know that she can't help it sometimes. Any thoughts on how to be a good friend and try to get her to seek help?
Thanks in advance,
Dave
Oh, my weblog is http://www,refriedgringo.com just so you can know who you are answering and that I'm not some skeaky webbot.
Hey man ... You are absolutely right.. I really agree with you
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http://www.eliminatesweating.com/
Hi there,
I see that people,normal,everyday people suffer too much on their own nowdays.Eating disorders,depression,anxiety,low self esteem and all this...I'm one of them too.I'm not exactly bulimic,I'm a post anorexic and right now,even if I've overcame the disease,I still don't have a healthy relationship with my body and food...I chew and spit instead of binging/purging and try to keep inside enough calories to be healthy (this means maintain my body weight between 19 and 21 BMI).But this also sucks!I used to be such a balanced person until 15 years old (when anorexia hit me).Why are we driven to messing up our lives like this?Noone deserves to live like that, being imprisoned from his/her own thoughts in such a way and in such intensity!What kind of crappy society is this we live in that generates such phenomena!and what can we do to liberate ourselves from this hell?Spend all our money to bloody therapists?To hell with them too!The more the people suffer the more they make money!
Thanks for being there and reading.
Good luck with your struggles...
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