Well here I go again: I'm starting today to eat healthy and exercise. This is probably my 10,000 attempt at this but what else can I do? I am massive, and I don't mean that in a delusional eating disorder view. I'm around 250 lbs. I've never been this big and it's scary. Not only is it scary how instantly I got this big when I stopped working out, but it's scary to be this size. Sometime just standing up and walking across the room leaves me winded. Ugh!!! That's what I'm talking about: scary.
So today I started walking. Actually on Saturday night I walked to the movies, which is 1.3 miles there and back. Today I walked to work, which is about 1 mile away. I'm already getting blisters. My back doesn't hurt at all, but my knees and feet do.
I feel like working out a LOT but it is frustrating how out of shape I am. Today I will also ride the bike.
I don't know how to feel. My size is very depressing. I saw a picture of myself and it was frightening how massive I am. I almost cried. But at the same time I'm hopeful because I have all summer to enjoy getting back into shape. I haven't been working out because I've had a second job (which involved sitting at the computer snacking) but now that's over for the summer and I have more time.
I also started taking Prozac again which I hope will help me stop bingeing.
I still want to get the Lap-Band by the way. But I think I need to lose 25-50 lbs on my own first, or else I will have really saggy skin. I really have a fat stomach and I never really had that before. It's awful.
2 comments:
I love that you're starting again on a healthy path and not resigning yourself to either being at an unhealthy weight or living an unhealthy lifestyle. It's Monday and I'm starting over too. How many times can I go to the closet to look for outfits with no waistbands or elastic waistbands? It's almost summer and I'm going to have to ditch the long coats and long pants at some point or move within the Acrtic Circle! The important thing is not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up! Stay strong!
So glad you updated! Hey, your walking is a huge step and definitely more than I've been doing. If you can do it every day, maybe I can, too. How is the bulimia?
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