to have a life that does not revolve around your weight and food? What do those people think about?
I didn't post my bulimic hell yet. I will soon. It was truly terrible.
I have never been so fat in my life. I am just not me. I never look in the mirror... it's just awful. I want Lap-Band so badly. Does anyone have piles of money where you can help me get it? I can't believe my insurance "excludes" it... how convenient.
I am sorry for all of you out there who struggle and hurt. I wish I could erase this ridiculous demon from existence.
10 comments:
it's hard to imagine a life that doesn't revolve around food. but if it did exist, i imagine i wouldn't spend all day thinking about my meals, how i'll prepare them, how many calories they are, how i can possibly be gaining weight when i'm trying to take care of myself for the first time in my life, etc. etc.
for now, all i can do is try and imagine life as i want it to be. life that involves love for the people around me, as well as for myself. life that includes accepting who i am - no matter how much i weigh, how much i eat, or how horrible i feel.
i'm so sorry you hurt, too. it seems to me that you do a lot of looking out for other people...but when you're doing all of that caretaking for others, who's taking care of you?!
Hi, how are you?
I was wondering if you can answer a few questions if you don't mind?
I wanted to know why you haven't talked about your family? Do they know you have an ED?? and how long have you had this eating disorder?
Also,Does ED consume you everyday that you don't have any friends???
( I am not saying you don't have any friends, but I realize that you are obsessed with your wieght)
Thank you
P.S. have faith in GOD and he will guide through everything.
peace be with you and GOD BLESS YOU!!
hey mandy
i know your pain all to well - unfortunately!
me and ED hve been together for the past 12 years - the longest relationship of my life by far!!!
i agree it sucks and i wish there were something to say to you on the lines of "it'll get better" but 12 years and counting and i havent seen that lite at the end of the tunnel yet!
in the past 2 years i hve gained 40 lbs - im the heaviest i have been since i was 12 - it sucks - and i bat myself up about constantly, try and say "today will be different" and punish myself for going astray.
but i can only hope there is a lite at the end of the tunnel - other wise this tunnel may just collapse on top of me!
good luck and hang in there!
Thanks for spreading the word about the severity of Bulimia Nervosa. The symptoms you provided are very helpful to readers looking to learn more about eating disorders. I want to suggest another resource from the Center for Eating Disorders for any readers who may have additional questions. www.eatingdisorder.org/about_eating_disorders/resources/quiz.php. It's an anonymous tool that can help readers figure out if certain behaviors are indicative of an eating disorder.
hi i read all your posts and i really want to talk with you or contact you, i understand you a lot and i want to send you an email or chat with you.
my mail is sofia_poter@hotmail.com
please add me to your cotnact list or go to my blog
kisses
come back, mandy. you're missed.
Hey M! How are you doing these days? thinking of you. Write me a line so I know you are ok!!
xo
Sole
Mandy,
DAMMMMNNN. You're hot! Nice picture!
Where did you get the idea that you look fat? NOT THE CASE. AT ALL. Pictures are supposed to add like 10 pounds, and you already look perfect in your picture. I'm being completely honest here.
I think some people look like "toothpicks," and that's not attractive at all. Just a thought. Those supermodels and celebs today are scary-looking.
I know it's so difficult, but hang in there. Seek help, and you will gradually get over it. Hang in there.
I have a younger sibling with this problem, and in her mind, she has a distorted body image, and I'm trying to get help for her. It's tough.
Let us know if there's any progress/success, because some of us could use your help. We're counting on you.
Hi Mandy,
I realized the comments from my previous post may have revealed my lack of knowledge about your situation. I chose the wrong words, so what I said seemed to be only about body image.
More than just body image, what younger sister really has is a physical (body affects the mind) problem with the thoughts of food. An obsession. Like alcohol or drug addiction. An addiction is a physical problem, not a mental weakness. This should be dealt with differently than just convincing yourself or telling yourself things.
I just want to change what I said earlier and say now that there's one thing. You're a BRAVE person. The reason is because you decide to talk to us about this condition, when most are in denial. You have the GUTS to face this problem. But you need more than that.
Going back to the physical aspect of the mind, this is once again a physical problem with the chemicals, yet some people unknowingly attribute this to a "weakness of the mind." No. It's not your rationalism or your discipline or your mental weakness.
To deal with such a physical problem, you need your brain to adapt and change, physically. You have to, although this is very painful, take away the triggers of junk food. The promise is that if you are able to physically separate yourself from junk food for a period, say 1 year, your brain will re-route its junctions and chemicals, and will adapt to this. You will then be free. This plus other the other required interventions such as specialist help and possible prescription therapy. The physical thing I talked about is the strategy used by those places.
Most people, such as alcoholics and drug addicts, cannot physically separate themselves from these triggers, no matter what they do. That's why, if you have the strongest desire to overcome this eating disorder, you need to seek an external, physical agent--professional help. You need to be, for example, physically restrained, or completely taken away from those foods you desire. For an enough period of time, for your brain to adapt, you'll win.
People in 3rd world countries--despite using primitive methods, these are ironically effective. For example, if a younger child was an addict of drugs, the mother would tie up the kid for a required period of time, say 1 year. This 1 year allows the brain to adapt to the lack of drug feeding the brain. Apparently, it works almost all the time, so who can complain?
If this message is offensive in any way, I apologize. I just like to tell it as it is, as I want it to work. I also believe in encouragement, but I deem this more helpful.
Once again, the reality is here: it's almost impossible to approach this with a "strong" mind. You cannot try to "convince" yourself to the best of your ability, such as trying to envision a better life or using a thought that would "block" out food. Sorry to not "sugar coat" it, but the most important thing is that you overcome this, by ANY means necessary. The only way, I think, is to counter with a Physical strategy. Ask yourself once again: can you leave an alcoholic or a drug addict alone to solve this problem by herself? The more you envision eating disorder like this, like a physical brain problem like addiction, you may have better odds, better than a lifelong suffering because you are using your mind, as opposed to physical things, to fight with addiction.
Hi Mandy,
Since I was 12 I struggled with bulimia and distorted eating habits I am now 18 and almost fully recovered. I would constantly be online looking at skinny models working out at the gym for up to 3 hours after a binge, sitting on my bathroom floor crying because no one was there to save me. I want you to have hope. I got through my eating disorder alone and it was tough but I have hope for you and all girls like you. Although I have gotten through most of it alone (stopped binging/purging etc) I still struggle with confidence issues which I think is one of the worst problems in the world today. Society has set a standard for all girls to have d' cup breasts and size 0 waists and 99% of those women do it through surgery. Look at yourself in the mirror. Really look at yourself. See beyond the little "fat" or whatever you may have. See the beauty and the elegance of being a woman. Think about the women you respect the most, they are not beautiful because they are a size 2 and cant eat a bowl of pasta without throwing it up, they are beautiful because they think they are. Believe in yourself, you are beautiful and you can get through this. If not by yourself please go seek help. There are so many professionals that can help you get better! They are in your best interest, for now we will always be here and I know you can do it! Be strong! Your beautiful!
Love, Lizz
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