first off, I'm drunk.
secondly, I'm so fat.
I'm sorry I haven't written in so long. Do you know how hard it is to type this when you're as drunk as I am?
I've been doing pretty poorly. One good thing is that I started on the BC pills again. I went to Unplanned Parenthood and lied my ass off to get them. I told them I was having all sorts of sex. I even checked off "iin a long term relationship." Yeah with my hand! hah! But it's alot cheaper, $20 per month vs $140 for three months for the Seasonale. Anyway I think the pills are making me super de[ressed.Thatis not good. DId I mention I'm drunk...... We had an easter Party andI Drank somuch. I even danced with my sweet crush. He turned so fast I almost got dizzy.
YOu know whatis awesome? Law & Order: Criminal Intent. It's super awesome. It should be bottled and sold as an awesome energy drink.
i"m so incredibly fat. as I was saying, I started working out and lost a few pounds but now I"m feeling depressed probably because of the MFing homornal birth control pills.
I think I will be alone forever. Nobody has written asking where I've been so I guess that means nobody misses me.
............... it hurts, I wish i iknew if i loved hiim or if it is infatuation
I'm sorry
5 comments:
Hey Mandy,
It is Esperanza....I have a new blog site due to privacy issues but if you want you can send me an email at suemolinar@yahoo.ca and I will send you an invite:)
I am sorry things aren't great....but it sounds like you have some great friends that love hanging with you, dancing and drinking etdc..regardless of how you percieve yourself:) Good work on the excercising:) take care of yourself:)
xoxoo
Soledad (formerly known as Esp)
Aww, Mandy! Of course you're missed! I don't comment on people's blogs too much, but I do check on you every day (except during my one week vaca to Hawaii this past week).
You are definitely in my thoughts.
With much love,
Michelle
Hey Mandy,
Sorry you've been having the blues! I hope you're feeling better, and just wanted to stop by and let you know I was thinking of you!
*hugs*
Emily
Mandy, I really respect that you have this public blog that you are sharing your innermost feelings on. I can say that I looked at your picture and you are georgous, but I know that what I think doesn't matter too much or as much as what you think. By having this blog public, maybe the stigma associated with having an eating disorder can be removed from a few more people's minds...and maybe you can show others that you can and will be well again.
Secondly, you say you are fat. I would submit to you that you ARE whatever you make of yourself or whatever you want to be. It's just that, right now, you FEEL fat. Because you feel something does not make it so.
And, if, in fact, you are overweight or unhealthy, just think of how great it is to be alive, how wonderful it is to enjoy the summer and other seasons, your cats, the love that you can give to others...if you are healthy and stay here on this planet to share that love.
Take care of yourself and free feel to email me.
Hey Cherie, you seem like a sweet person and gave really nice advice to Mandy. However, being a recovered anorexic/bulimic for 2 years now (I had the diseases for 7years) one cannot FEEL fat. Fat is not a feeling, it's a physical state of being. So if you say you "feel fat" you are really feeling something else that you cover up (probably subconsciously) by saying you "feel fat." And I use the word "you" in general terms-not "you" in specific.
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