So I was seriously thinking about getting a Lap-Band. I'm officially fat enough and I even signed up for an informational seminar next week. Lap-Bands are like gastric bypass surgery except they don't do any cutting or bypassing, they just put a band around your stomach so it squeezes the top part into a little mini stomach. Then you can only eat a few bites until you're full.
I'm just not sure. It just seems like cheating. It wouldn't solve my problems with food. I would be so ashamed about it too. But if I was full after a few bites, wouldn't that help me not binge?
I don't know. I'm getting desperate. This morning I was totally convinced exercise and proper diet was the only to lose weight and that it IS still possible, but tonight as I write these words I am thinking that it all has to end. Maybe this would help me.
I really, really wish I had a guy who wanted to kiss me. Who wanted to hold my hand in public and have the whole world see.
8 comments:
"I really, really wish I had a guy who wanted to kiss me. Who wanted to hold my hand in public and have the whole world see."
Me too.
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But if I was full after a few bites, wouldn't that help me not binge? - Mandy
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No. Bingeing is an irrational behavior. You are ignoring your physical queues to stop eating when you are full if your queues are working properly. You'll do the same after the surgery.
Save yourself the money and mortifying disappointment and invest in a good mental health professional; then believe them.
A male is a side issue. A relationship with one that doesn't understand your disorder would only serve to complicate your recovery.
Mandy,
God I am sorry, but I bet you see yourself in an unrealistic way. GO to the information session....never hurts to know more, but there are NO quick fixes to an ED. I wish there were....if you find one let me know. Slef searching is the only one I know and this is an ass long process:)
Hugs
Sol/Esp
bulimia is really wank, i hope you can recover fully one day.
i'm trying to recover too.
Mandy
Just so you know. You are on my list of bookmarks on my computer and I check on you semi regularly. I'm glad to see you back writing. You have been missed even if it hasn't been said. :o)
Hi Mandy,Ive been suffering the terrible eating disorder for 6 yrs so far,and I feel really despair sometime.Geting involved in a relationship or some kind of help never worked on me.It seems like my life just has to be stucked in this nasty cilcle..Mandy,you sound like a really lovely person.As a bulimic,I know exactly how you feel,as all of us are struggling and being guilty all the time as you do.I even started undertaking Behaviour Studies in Uni as my major,and hoped I could pick myself up.Sadly,I'm still on my way.Therefore,don't push urself down,try to accept and love ur body.How could u expect someone else to love u,if u didn't even love urself? if interested,u can add me on MSN: belle_beijing@hotmail.com
The yearning for love is PART of the reason for having bulimia in the first place.
Mandy, I had the exact same issue in creating a romantic relationship in my head, only to realize later that either
1) the guy was using me for sex
2) the guy totally did not care and I misinterpreted the ques/lack of ques
3)the guy used my vulnerability and low self esteem to boost his ego.
If you feel like writing to me,
i would be very happy to hear from you, I am close to your age and had the disorder for about the same time period
menalli.m@gmail.com
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