I haven't been doing too hot. I just don't feel like getting better... well that's not true. I'm just in a big fat funk.
I don't think I have an eating disorder. I think I just have a food disorder. If I could just stop eating junk I wouldn't feel so crappy, and I wouldn't want to eat more crap.
It's almost 4 am and I'm still awake. This sucks.
sorry I haven't posted.
4 comments:
Hey Mandy,
Sounds like things aren;t going to well and you are stuck in a recovery rut. This happens it is a part of the process...two steps forward one step back.
I am just wondering how your wieght is. Are you losing and eating junk? Cause that would be dangerous. I have been eating a little bit of junk everyday...and keeping it down. Say like....a couple handfuls of chips or a box of smarties:) The rest of my day being resonably healthy. Sometimes I binge and purge but mostly I keep it down. Maybe this technique would help you. Please take care of yourself.
Esp
My friend is also in a lot of pain... will anyone reach out to her so she isn't alone?
http://pollyrexic.43people.com/feeds
As a sufferer of bulimia I can relate. I'm 21 now and also started this behavior in 8th grade. For the past year, I have done plenty of research regarding chemical responses in the brain, addictions, and eating disorders. Believe it or not, they are all related. Although, unlike other addictions, an addiction to food can't be cured through abstinence. That is why you need to discover what foods you're "addicted" too. For me its any type of carbohydrates. Any type of sugar causese my blood sugar to rise, then drop, then it creates this insatiable hunger which causes that little voice in my head to start planning a binge. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. It seems like when you even consider the thought of a binge, it ends up being inevitable. The only time I can go without b/p is when I abstain from carbs. There is also the "side effect" of weightloss with this approach which makes it all that more of an attractive approach. When I read recovery books about how you should eat what you want and not leave out food groups I think this is nuts. It just won't work right off the bat. The way to do it is to understand and control the addiction first, and then reintroduce food groups slloooowwly. Last night, after I went to the gym and tanning, I needed to pick up eggs. Well, the grocery store i went to had their homemade cookies on sale. I'm telling you, those cookies were in my basket and I was walking up and down the aisles planning my binge. Then I walked by a fitness magazine and thought, "what am i doing?" I put my basket down and walked away from it. I got my eggs, some diet pepsi jazz, and crystal light so I could have something to sip on that was sweet. When I got home the cravings miraculously disappeared. They did appear later but i realized I was truly hungry so I ate some chicken salad I had in my fridge.
Wow this is going on for quite a while. Anyways, I'm not "cured" from it per se. But I can tell you that I'm not longer bent over a toilet for 6 times a day and spending over 100 bucks a week on junk food. I work at a fine dining restaurant on the weekends, so as long as i stay low carb the cravings stay down. But one bite of cake and my will power takes a huge hit. I've realized how important it is to stay focused. Its hard..real hard. I know. And I can't imagine how hard it must be for you since you have suffered from it for 9 years more than me.
I do have a whole lot of scientific research I have collected and I'd be more than happy to share it with you if you want to email me. dgirl28-at-excite.com
Once you understand what is going on in your body and mind during a binge, it's a little easier to talk yourself out of it before you begin.
By the way, I'm 5'6 and 128lbs. If that helps at all. I know you probably wouldn't want to take advice from someone who is 5'6 and obese.
hi, ive been yo-yo dieting for the past 5-6 years im quite tall 5"9 so not obese just wider & bigger on my bottom half!
im almost 20 now & movin to univeristy after the summer, this is makin me extremly stressd & obssess aqbout my appearence. ive been chewin my food but not swallowing for ages now aswel as binging but vis doesnt seem to work, recently ive tried to sick up my food after meals but avin difficulty, i am intelligent & know the effects & i do have perfect teeth i dont want to damage im just DESPERATe for a quick fix & confidence boost- plz plz plz HELP me! -x-
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