What if you woke up one day, and your bulimia was gone?What would you do with your life?
How would you fill your days?
I see so many comments still from those of you who are suffering. Bulimia is a constant hell. Even if you can get away from it for a week or an hour or a minute, it comes back to suck your soul.
So what would you like to do with your life that you're not able to do now?
This is where I am, I have lots of things I thought I would do. I'm doing some of them but still struggle. Mainly I struggle with boredom and bad habits that need to go. I still have self-destructive tendencies that are threatening my life. Not like they're going to kill me, but they are threatening my chances of living a happy, healthy, normal life. A life I want and need.
I wish I could cure you all.
23 comments:
I got tears in my eyes reading this entry- you're spot on !!
My first thought when i read "what would you do if you woke up one day and your bulimia was gone" was "How is my bulimia going away- how am i gonna start estimating myself like something worthy of looking up to, of being loved, of being looked upon as something beautiful? Bulimia isn't going away until YOU realize you're worth loving. And how on earth are you going to realize that when you know you aren't. Or you think you know you aren't. You know you're masculine, big boned, selfish.. you know you're bulimic, you know you gotta change your lifestyle and start living a complete different life if it's gonna go away. And HOW on earth do you do that?
I'm glad this last entry is a recent one, it shows you still engage in your blog. Hope to see more from you !!
//Zoey
Were you overweight when you had your surgery? If you were not, how did you convince your surgeon to give this a try?
I’ve been bulimic since I was 14; I’ve turned 52 this year. I’ve never been able to stop purging for more than 18 months. Weight gain is what usually causes relapse. High protein dieting has helped. I was never able to be in recovery for even a short amount of time until using the Atkins diet, but it has not been a cure.
Anti depressants did not help. My doctor prescribed Effexor 3 different times during 3 different seasons of eating disorder counseling and Selexa during two other counseling seasons. All resulted in my relapsing when weight gain reoccurred.
My first weight regain relapse put me at about 175 pounds after 1 year binge free. The second weight regain put me at about 165 after 7 months of being binge free. During the third regain I broke recovery at about 155 lbs. My fourth time I broke recovery was after 18 months which put me at about 180 lbs, the fifth time I broke recovery I regained weight that put me at about 150 lb.
When I’m binging & purging and over exercising, I can usually bring my weight back down to 140 lbs. I’m currently 140 lbs and 5’ 4” so I’m not underweight, but I’m not overweight. All the criteria for Lap Band surgery does not apply to me. I don’t know that I could allow myself to get 100 lbs over weight in order to obtain the surgery.
My life has been consumed by the constant ups and downs of being in and out of recovery and significant weight fluctuations. I was 180 lbs in 8th grade and went on a sensible weight watchers diet t age 14 that started the whole unfortunate history. I’m blubbering right now. You can see why I revert back to binging and purging. There is a sad stability & ability to remain normal weight. That may be an oxymoron because at age 14, before dieting, my weight reached 180. You could argue my normal weight is what is considered obese and I go too far to prevent that.
I do hold hope that enough success stories like yours will open doors for people like me to live out their lives in a productive, non destructive manner.
Sincerely, Anna
ok im ot sure how ol dthese posts are bu im strugglig hard core. I do it 3-4 times a day ad im totallty exhausted. Im fie all day with eatig lunch but its whe i get home a dto relieve stress ad the cycle has started,,,,,, I Fuckig hate ever minute of it. I want to be normal. ot think about food. What made me this beast that i feell that i am. I just hope this doeset rui my body for babies. Please ay strategies i will try to help myself
I must say I wish I could cure myself....I am a 30 year old stay at home mom suffering from bulimia once again...Good For You! I wish you the best and hope one day I will be where you are. I know first I have healing inside to work on before I can completely let go. I wish you the best of luck in your journey of recovery, health and most of all, happiness,
Jenn
perfectmombadsecret.blogspot.com
I would probably become complete anorexic. The thought of gaining weight makes me want to lay on the train tracks out back. I'm mostly bulimic, part anorexic. I take 20-40 laxatives on days that I eat an 2-10 on days that I don't eat. Bulimia has saved my life, or maybe just extended it for a few years. I've been bulimic for 16 years on and off. When I go off of being bulimic, I start tempting fate, then usually try suicide when my weight breaks 100. I'm a Christian, and don't want a suicide on my soul. God says "Thou shall not kill". I know he means myself, too, so I stay bulimic the healthiest way I know of so when I die, it will be all His decision and not mine. Bulimia is self-torture, but it has huge rewards that make all the pain and suffering worthwhile. I wouldn't go back to how I was in school. I became Bulimic at 18. I'm 34. My only real physical health problems are COPD from smoking-Not bulimia and pre diabetes. I had gestational diabetes that never totally went away. Purging by throwing up and taking fast-acting laxatives works better at lowering dangerously high blood sugar than insulin. I do have what the doctors at the Free Clinic call bullet holes in my esophagus, but they only hurt when I throw up certain things. I'm slightly anemic, but I take iron pills and multivitamins at a time of the day when I don't eat so they will be completely absorbed. I also keep fat free dairy and energy coffees in me to keep from getting Rickets and Osteoporosis. I'm at the crazy age of bulimia, where I'm young enough for Rickets and old enough for osteoporosis. I don't have either one. My mental health isn't good from all the years in school when I should have been Bulimic or Anorexic but wasn't.
Im new to the addiction, and boy is it a drug... Check out my blog if you'd like, i just started it, and i got my idea from yours. It's mainly for teens, but i'd love some insight from those facing it for longer!
i have a tip blog for those still suffering from Mia its http://strive2bthinmiaana.blogspot.com
It’s nice to read a useful article for beginner like me. Some of points from this article are very helpful for me as I haven’t considered them yet. I would like to say thank you for sharing this cool article. Bookmarked and sharing for friends.
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Hi! I am a 14 year old girl from Spain, I been reading your whole blog and I really love it. I didnt understand everything bcause my english is not very well but I tried.
I've been suffering of Bulimia since 9-10 years old and still..
I really cant stop and dont know anybody to ask for help. It is horrible and I really cant support this anymore. I would like to know if I can get in touch with you, or with somebody who is suffering this terrible thing. I would be so happy to hear about someone who wants to help me.. My email is estelailardia1296@gmail.com
Ireally hope somebody to answer me back.
Pd: your blof is answeome. You are a beautiful person and I reallly admire you.
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I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
its nice to read a useful article for beginner like me. Some of points from this article are very helpful for me as I haven’t considered them yet. I would like to say thank you for sharing this cool article. Bookmarked and sharing for friends.
Hi,
i just started my own blog and to be honest, i guess i just need some support!
its nice to see such a great work been done.
thank you for writing your blog. i just started on my road to recovery (again...) and i'll be reading your posts, older ones and newer if you keep posting hopefully to keep me motivated. i wish nobody had to deal with what we deal with. best of lukc to you. i followed, maybe you could follow back?
http://purgingthepainaway.blogspot.com
hello, my name is Nina and i am bulimic too. i am so sorry for you, i truly hope that you will get better:) i know that feeling when you think that you are in control, but actually it absolutely isn't!
its nice to read a helpful article for a starter as i am. i also made my site a few months ago :) about thinspiration http://pro-thinspiration.com
If I conquer bulimia, i would be the happiest woman in the world! I imagine myself finally breaking free from the dangers of bulimia.
I know exactly what you mean. I'm at that same place.... The bulimia goes for a few days then comes back and I'm left empty, flat and lifeless... I rack my brain for things to do. I try my best to be productive and keep my mind off food and the emptiness I feel inside but the avoidance makes me feel even worse... I feel like a fake.
if i awoke one day and my bulimia was gone....i would go out and share my story with young girls. spread awareness about eating disorders. there are so many young girls (i was one) who think eating disorders are a quick easy fix for removing a bit of extra weight. they think they hold control (again...i was one of them). Ed quickly takes control and makes your life living hell. 4 years later...i cant stand who i have become. some days are better than others....but in the end i realize i am still living with bulimia. i am still damaged. and i still wonder who in the world could ever love me.
What if you woke up one day, and your bulimia was gone?
I’ll be happy when I woke up I had no bulimia. Maybe delicate feel
What would you do with your life?
Maybe I will continue doing what I currently doing plus think of other things to do to forget my life with this kind of problem and continue living
How would you fill your days?
I do not know what else can I do, just be happy and be free
True, Michelle, it’s better for us to share our experiences with others. But up to now I do not know how to live without this problem.
If I wake up one day and Bulimia is gone, I will shout for joy that I am awaken from a Bulimia nightmare! I will still wonder if it's true. Bulimia doesn't disappear overnight. So I guess I will try to wake myself up again because I know that it is just a dream. If there's just an instant cure to this problem, I will spread the word to everyone of us to end this battle instantly...but it's not easy... and it takes time, courage, strength HOPE.
Bulimia is a demon that creeps into your life and makes you feel on top of the world for a week and leaves you like a dirty whore the next.
I've been a bulimic for a sad five years and its become a love hate relationship and mostly hate. Some days are worst than..... I wake up with a well constructed plan and a meal plan all worked out to the letter , BUT then that demon shows its dark head and I can't think of any thing else for the rest of the day.
As sad as its is I can't imagine what I would consider myself without it.
I'm diagnosed with aneroixa bp sub type and I ought to say that recovery is really possible. I didn't realised that I'll be landing in this recovered body. Times are hard and I'm still fighting the battle but at least I know what's right for my body! I blog daily too! If you want to know more you can read my blog.
شركة كشف تسريبات المياه بالدمام
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالخبر
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالاحساء
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالاحساء
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