I'm free from the evil soul-sucking cancer known as bulimia.
I can't remember the last time I threw up. I've had a few spit ups ("productive burps" in LapBand talk) but throwing up is no longer a part of my life. Bingeing is no longer a part of my life. I did have two cookies two days ago and got a sugar rush off it, but it was like 1 percent of a full binge.
After 24 years of abnormal, unhealthy eating, I can finally say: I eat like a normal person. I can take food or leave it. There was cake at the office the other day and I had no interest in it. Before, I would have taken a large piece, snuck another later and then been totally preoccupied the whole day wondering how much more cake was left and when I could go get some more unnoticed.
To say I'm happy is the understatement of the century. I simply am living life to the fullest. It's amazing how free I am now to truly live my life. My mind is sharp and I can think about the things I need to talk about.
Maybe LapBand isn't going to work for everybody, but my experience PROVES that this disease is PHYSICAL. It is NOT a mental weakness! My bulimia was cured not by therapy, willpower, medication, a new diet or self-help books. It was cured by a medical procedure that changed my stomach. My stomach always thinks I'm full, and therefore, my brain no longer thinks I'm starving. It stopped sending out the signals to eat, eat, eat and fill up that stomach.
Life is amazing. I am so happy to be alive.
Everybody keep reminding yourself that what you're dealing with is a medical problem, not a mental one. Good luck and love to you all.
6 comments:
Hi Mandy I was wondering how your bulimia was doing after having your surgery I am in your same position and am now wondering if the surgery is the right decision for me???
thank you for pointing out the physiological side of bulimia. I am were you are now, after all the therapy I found out I had a medical problem, now i take the right medication and my battle is over. Now my eyes are cleared and I see an unbelievable life in front of me. Enjoy this moment, you deserve it all . I know I do
I'm 15 and starting to become bulimic but reading your blogs make me feel like it's not worth it. there are other ways to get skinny!
Thank you.
It's funny you talk about bulimia being entirely physical because my experience has been exactly the opposite. I've had my Lap-Band for about 20 months and was never previously bulimic. Since being banded, my compulsion to eat things I know I can't have been out of control. I eat, lean over the kitchen sink and vomit the moment I feel the food hit the impasse. I've discussed this with others in my support group and know I'm not alone. Perhaps you weren't necessarily bulimic, since bulimia is classified as a disease of compulsive bingeing and purging.....
Regardless, I'm really happy to hear that you've found the holy grail to freedom. I'm hoping that with the right counseling and support, I will return to my pre-banded behavior without the purging....
i envy your being able to live like this and to have moved past it. i started throwing up when i was 16 and i can't remember life without it. i just went 43 days for the first time ever since i was 16. i have a blog that i stated when i decided i'm good enoug hto quite, but right now i've relapsed and i'm trying to get courage to stop again. mine is http://biggerthanbulimia.blogspot.com/ if you are interested in reading and adding my blog
I have to respectfully disagree with your statement that this disease is "physical not mental". Perhaps your specific condition and disordered eating has been physical for you, but for thousands of others struggling with eating disorders, it's a mental AND phsyiological (i.e. chemical imbalances, etc.) disorder. We can't all get lap bands to "cure" our eating disorders, especially if those suffering are not categorized as "overweight." I'm happy for you, but I wish that you wouldn't make such broad statements that might discourage others.
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