I decided to weigh myself this morning just to check. 203... 203... 203... What the hell? I have not been over 200 in like three years.
I want to work out so much but I have absolutely no energy... this heat wave is killing me!!! It's like 110 every day. It's 90 even at midnight.
Not only that but the person staying with me left to go home this morning. She was just here visiting for a few months. Now I am living by myself again which means I will be BORED and LONELY and I will COOK and BAKE and BINGE and PURGE in a never ending cycle of wasted time and money.
I don't know what to do. I'm so exhausted.
5 comments:
Mandy, before this evil cycle starts, can you do something to occupy the lonely times? I know I know...Like what? Right? I just don't want to see you go down that path, noone does, it's so heartbreaking for all of us when someone isn't doing well. All I can do is be here to listen whenever you need someone to. Please try to take care of yourself, and if you can't, please write, we'll support you.
Love,
Frida
Oh ya, also, I've been doing the Wild Rose 12 Day Cleanse. Food-wise, it's pretty easy, and it works, I do it every 6 months. You'll feel like shit the first couple of days, and then you'll feel great! Energized, lighter, and clearer. Not only that, but a chunk of weight will come off, along with all the toxins in your body that are slowing you down...give it a try!!!
xo
Mandy
Please get yourself together You are a good worthy person Be kind to yourself.
Please write me or just wreite get it all out
Our hopes for the TV show seems to have disapeared HAvent heard from Michelle She doesnt mention it on the blog HAve you heard from her
Do you know what the wild rose 12 day cleanse is If you do let me know about it
If you have read my blog you know I will be out of town for a whjil but please dont forget about me We are all inthis together
Love
KAren
Mandy
I know how you feel right now. Desperate, alone and in a black hole you will never climb out of. But this WILL PASS...you will feel at least a little better again. I don't mean to say the ED will go away, but some of the depression and desperation will. Just hang in there....have you thought about taking some courses in writing....art.....kickboxing...underwaterbasket weaving..who cares as long as you are interested in it. Get out.....meeet new people. You are going to have to force yourself to do this, but i know you can do it. One day at a time is how it goes for us. Please please please hang in there and remeber there are so many people just in this blogging community who care about you. You have touched all of us and we have never even met you...I know those who have had the chance to meet you face to face are touched by you even more.
Let us know how it goes ...and remeber...ask for help if you feel really really low. Emergency ward, clinics, friends....
xoxox
Esperanza
I hate the scale too. Its just like one more addiction! You'll feel happy if the number goes down, but even if you reach a "goal" the stupid call of the binge will be there. Do you have a cat or dog? I live alone, which I like most of the time, but can be lonely. My cat is great company, though. Something positive I can see everyday. Remember, you aren't the only one who lives "alone" and you aren't really alone bc we all read and care about you. So don't freak out! You're pretty cool and deserve to have a nice summer.
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